How I Finally Broke Through My Learning Barriers
One of the biggest problems I faced when I was learning another language, beyond grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation, was the voice in my head telling me I would not be able to do it. I would just think things like, I’m too old to learn a new language, I am not good in learning languages, I failed and will likely fail again, everyone will laugh when I make a mistake. These thoughts seemed to be true but in reality, these were just stories I told myself so many times that I suddenly believed them. These are not facts, these are beliefs and beliefs can be redefined.
I was terrified of making mistakes. I stayed quiet in class even when I had something important to say which would likely go unnoticed by other people. I practice some sentences over and over again in my mind, and when it is time for me to speak, everybody else was still conversing. This fear depended on the false belief that mistakes are unpleasant things which everyone will remember and judge. The truth is that native speakers also often make grammar mistakes.
When I saw native speakers screw up and nothing terrible happened, my fear reduced. I realized that imperfect language does, in fact, communicate the message and other people aren’t minding the small mistakes.
I learned to build confidence by starting from the place where no one would judge me. Practicing my speaking out loud when I was alone, when I was doing chores, allowed me to speak without feeling overwhelmed. Recording my voice provided the scenario of me speaking to an audience without them. And I could also leave voice messages to friends. It provided me a sense of confidence to speak.
I learn how to consider mistakes in a new perspective. I no longer viewed errors as evidence I wasn’t good enough, I now saw mistakes as an opportunity to learn things textbooks do not teach, evidence that I was trying and taking risks, that it was just a normal part of learning. Every time a native speaker corrected me or said something better, it was free help in how it works in real life. When I accepted corrections instead of fearing them, I learned faster.
Having one patient person to talk to, someone who will not interrupt nor act impatient, made all the difference. This person became a safe place for me to talk and ask questions without fear of being judged. Even one person like this in my life helped me improve.
I used to compare myself with others. And of course it was not fair, it took my motivation away. Someone who’d been learning for five years clearly could do things I wasn’t capable of after five months. What worked better is that I compared myself to my former self. Am I better than last month? Last week? Yesterday? If it was a small improvement, I knew I was getting better. This approach to seeing progress kept me motivated because of how I could observe that I was improving.
I’ve gotten better and yes, I doubt sometimes. A bad day or difficult conversation doesn’t remove the months of progress. It’s a bad day, a bad chat, but just the facts, not a judgment. I didn’t need to remove all my mental blocks before I could move forward.
The change happened when I spoke, even when nervous, not when the fear is gone. Courage isn’t about being not scared, it’s about speaking when you are scared, about trying, even when you can’t and persevering when there is doubt, even when it tells you you’re not good enough. A lot of small actions built real confidence over time that no amount of positive thinking can have built on itself.
If you’re struggling with similar fears, know that you’re not alone. I’ve been there, and I promise you can break through too. You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to keep showing up, even when it’s scary.
By: Glenda Cabailo
Tutorvio Teacher
